Doubt

Doubt is an ugly demon, one that creeps into your life and sucks you down a deep dark hole.  Doubt creates mountains upon mountains that rest on your shoulders so you can barely take a step forward.  As you try and chip away at the weight, doubt sits on top of the mountains laughing at your fruitless attempt to get rid of it.

In times of uncertainty, doubt says you’re tainted, a bad human being unworthy of joy.  As you watch the people around you move forward in their life, doubt whispers jealousy into your ear.  “What do they have that you don’t?  Aren’t you better than they are?”  As the demon of resentment begins to grow inside your belly against your friends, you isolate yourself so don’t let doubt out and snap at your support network. 

For a fleeting second you think you may have discovered a way to get rid of doubt.  Then a screen flashes in front of your eyes showing you, in doubt’s twisted way, that everything you have done was wrong.  Your ethics, morals, thoughts, actions are played by the villain that everyone tries to capture and lock up for rest of your life.  When you think it couldn’t get any worse, doubt whispers in your ear that you are unworthy of having what everyone else has earned.   

As you sink deeper and deeper into the depths of despair, an outstretched hand appears, and you hear a voice telling you to grab onto their hand.  You fear it is doubt further messing with your mind, so you hesitate.  The voice tells you they have been in been in the depths of despair and they know the way out.  You look up and see a familiar face staring back at you as their hand waits for you to grab hold.  Tears flow down your face as you struggle to move your hand towards their hand.  Eventually, you feel the warmth of their skin touching yours and you cry uncontrollably.  As you inch your way out of the depths of despair, doubt begins to slowly crack and fall away.